life ~

I can’t figure out if what I’m doing is right. If I’m the person I’m supposed to be. If I have the right people in my life. If I’m doing anything right.. I have no idea, whether I am or I’m not, it’s becoming obvious to me that life is like a trip. I’m on the road. So far it’s had many bumps, plenty turns.. I’ve had to stop and check if i was headed the right way. And yes, the course has changed. More than enough times. But every single turn I came across had more than that ONE efftect it didn’t only take me to a different place. It taught me a alot. It taught me that I’m not the brightest person. And yes, it did and does bother me. Who wants to come across so many dead ends and bumpy ass roads.. But, i won’t change them or move them, but they did move me. They did a lot . SO, for anyone who reads this, I hope they’ll be bright enough to understand my comparison. Life is my road. I’m the little black car. The bumps are the people who will and have made it tough for me to keep ‘driving’. The turns are those dramatic changes everyone will come across. The rest is just there …

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Me,♥

Althoug I absolutely no one reads this , It makes me feel that I have some where to write the exciting things . Even the worst. Just the fact that I put what I think out there pay off some how . ♥

The end 

I’ve given up . I dont think I need or ever want you in my life . This isn’t a hate post but it is the highlight of an ending . I spent so long worrying about how you’d feel if anything happened instead of me caring of what I need , I needed to get away . Away from the bull shit fights the constant insecurities I didnt need them , and I don’t and won’t ever think i do . I can live just fine with out you by me. In fact I’d live more than great enough , enough to forget for a while I wasted my love . Theres many who’d love a girl who goes beyond helping and caring for their bf . I did .

what if ..♥

what if our love was always something meant to be broken like our promises and constant decsions for change . what if this love never had to come this far and our last tears were just a sign of goodbye and proof that some love stories dont get their happy  endings.

Have You

Have you ever tried convincing yourself that love will never die and that the man or woman you’re with wants exactly what you want . Have you tried so many things to make someone love you and slowly lose the illusion that one day he or she will fall for you ?
Love is a gift not everyone can have . And so many try to get .

Polly ♥ DIES .

She woke up late on a november morning to find no one by her. She throws the blankets over her head and remembers him. She remembers how complete she felt every morning as she opened her eyes and started a day with the one she felt was everything. she only remembers the sweet romantic gestures her love once did and she fell asleep in his arms sometimes taking in a different cologne he came home with every friday night . the nights he worked late and came home from an office where his life was . where he spent his days off and holidays too . without knowing the girl walks into surprise her love and shocked herself . so what do you think happened next ?

Smells Like Teen Spirit .

I think I’m falling in love . i think im dying from the empty feeling the feeling of being alone . something creeps up on me when im alone . the hurting memories of us once being together the illusion you took so long to create and so easily wiped out . and without a notice took all I had in me away . I think I now fall in love for anyone who says they love me . even when I know it’s not all that true it bring a satisfying feeling to think I matter a bit to someone I know that soon my silence will be broken . and when it does I wont be the bad guy but ill be more broken than I ever was and after he feels how I defeated these words come out he might notice how much control I once gave him to this thing im forced to call my life and even though to him this might mean nothing, for me to speak up and run out this scary dream he once put me through will be what keeps me going to feel like im out of these invisible chains I once called our  love. later realized it was an act to keep him satisfied and alive and kept me by him good or bad weather I was dying inside or not it mattered to be there by his side for those seconds .. and when I ran out I didn’t bother to look back and pick up some of the pieces that i could see of my heart i ran cause im frightened to run back to feel needed by a lost boy with no value .

INSPIRED by : Nirvana♥

kiss me ____♥

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s sparkling
So kiss me
    -SIXPENCE NONE THE RICHER ♥ .

Status

.♥. NO DOUBT .

            HELLA GOOD .

So people say its when you’re hurt or going through something that you reach out for an escape . my blog is mine . so here it goes ..

if loves such a great thing why is it that so many hearts are broken?

why do people lie and cheat ? these aren’t the brightest questions but crying and hoping for a miracle isn’t always all that great either . why is it that people say i love you like its nothing ? … i thought love was something so beautiful and even though im not the best person to ask why people so it like its nothing .. it hurts to realize how easily it can be thrown around and how far people can go for it to actually be meant .. as sad and pathetic as it sounds its true right ? some girls can give up their innocence just to prove their love .. to someone who just wanted to get it in or maybe a guy tries so hard to impress a girl who will never make the guy seriously but why is the word love or the act of love used to manipulate people’s actions or feelings just to please the others needs or wants … it’s actually a never-ending fight of the manipulator and the idiot pleaser . sucks to learn the hard way . and yes i am talking from experience although my way of pleasing didn’t take me as far as IT . but close enough and even though at the moment i thought i was making someone happy . i changed MY beliefs around .. im not some crazy religious abstinence girl trust me im too far from that but it still felt pretty wrong to have given up a huge part of me trying to please a guy… no names are really called for but he was once my life and to see it all come down to me not wanting to ”give it up” which i havent and don’t plan on for a while it does feel like three middle school years wasted crying and changing into this ideal girlfriend which i wasnt to him even though i changed myself around to just about anything i got so good at it i consider my self a shape shifter and a really naive one which is why i stay away from  ”love” i don’t really see myself in that situation again even though ive learned that love doesn’t come when you need it or want it . love comes at the most unexpected times and we fall so hard we might not realize who we’re falling for ..

-talliee . ♥ .

my life..

so not only have i just had to find new ways to spend my summer ”productively” but i have no entertainment what so ever -.- . for some reason when i spent that last day in middle school crying my eyes out over not seeing all my friends for a while it never occurred to me that I’d spend my summer posting blogs that didn’t interest others. >.< and even though my summer hasn’t exactly been as bad as the last I didn’t think of it being like this either . working and looking up volunteering jobs at organizations . and the only thing that really did call my attention didn’t work out because of my age pretty much blew the whole volunteering bubble . not only did it suck to have sat in front of this laptop two hours and do nothing but research instead of tweeting of using Facebook it felt like all that time was a waste even though i did spend a pretty good amount of time walking around the dog shelter . i loved it but i would have loved it even more if that were that last place i had to pick an application from . even though all this back to school stuff is coming up in commercials and news paper adds after the whole animal shelter thing my summer was dead and feels like i have way more left to go . (sadly). well im off my lame blogging skills are getting me sleepy . -.- .

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